Top 10 Worst Nostalgic Cartoons

Hello bloggers of Blogger, I just want to apologize for the lack of activity on this blog. The reason for that is because I want to focus on my artistry other than writing reviews and top 10 lists; another thing is that I've been mostly focused on posting my artwork or other various products on Tumblr lately. Finally when I come to writing a review on something I want it to be as perfect as possible. I'm not saying you shouldn't expect much on this blog, but as an artist, I tend to focus on my own artistry than others. Now that's off my chest, time to focus on the first top 10 list in ages.

Cartoons, everyone loves them I love them there's no denying that. They basically shaped my perspective on the art of animation and entertainment in general, they're more than just moving images, they're pieces of imagination that fills our childhoods with joy, characters and heart. This and much more are the reasons why cartoons have become a part our culture and our childhood memories, which is why many regard the cartoons of yesteryear as some of the greatest the industry had to offer. But it's also the reason why people assume that cartoons nowadays are bad, whatever decade you grow up in you're always gonna assume that the cartoons from the past were much better; it's a rite of passage really. But when you take off the rose coloured glasses, you'll see that the past had bad cartoons too. Much like everything else in history, there was always crap along with the gems, animation was never a flawless medium and we should accept that.

These are the animated shows that either don't hold up very well or have always been bad. I know there are other list online much like this, but I want to show my own list of the Top 10 Worst Nostalgic Cartoons.

10. My Gym Partner's a Monkey

Now there was a period in my life where I lost interest in any new material from Cartoon Network, and My Gym Partner's a Monkey is partly the reason for that. Now at first glance, this cartoon would not deserve this distinction but when you actually watch one episode or hear about it's "quote on quote" plot; you'll see why. One of the major problems with MGPAM is the premise, a human preteen named Adam is sent to an all animal school due to a computer mistaking his surname as "Lion" instead of "Lyon". From saying that sentence alone, you could already see the problem with this program, did the writers and the people who green-lighted this really think that a lot of good comedy would come out of this; (or even read the premise out loud) No and the execution of it all is proof why.

While I happened to like shows based on school life at the time this came out, this show lacks any of

the wit those other shows had. The stories simply have no focus, they can range from being completely obnoxious to just plain lowest common denominator, as well as being mean spirited at times. So does the comedy that relies too heavily on toilet humour. Both the human and the animal characters are stereotypes, and most of them are moronic. One example is the monkey Jake who is just a walking "butt joke" because the writers think that all monkeys are obsessed with smacking their bums and nothing else. The main protagonist Adam is the only tolerable character on this being the voice of reason, too bad his purpose is to be abused. Visually this is one of the most unappealing animated shows I've ever laid eyes on, now Cartoon Network is known for showcasing versatile and unique animation but this show lacks anything that makes it watchable to me at least.

Bottom line I can see why My Gym Partner's a Monkey is the butt of jokes about modern CN shows (no pun intended); which is a shame because they managed to get some good people on board. How it won an Emmy Award, I'll never know!

9. Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels

If you knew my taste in television, you know I'm not particularly fond of 70s tv. Some of them have the silliest concepts when you look back on them, however, that doesn't mean some creativity didn't come out of them; Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels is still dumb in its own right. As an animation fan, I think Hanna Barbara were at their weakest in the 70s, and Captain Caveman solidifies that in my opinion. I may have had some fun with this show when I watched it as a kid, but as an adult, it's really corny and just as dated as Captain Caveman himself.

This series contains a lot of gripes I have with what Hanna Barbera was doing at the time; from the fact that it's a Scooby Doo clone, it's cheap animation, the fact that it relied on what was popular at the time instead of being timeless, the unfunny comedy and the un-interesting cast of carbon cut-out characters. Now I will give this show credit for Mel Blanc's performance as Captain Caveman (God rest his soul) I mean it's flipping Mel Blanc, but even he wasn't enough to save this trash. Like other HB cartoons from the 70s, Captain Caveman and the Teen Angel may have been fine at first, but it suffers from being primitive (to say the least).

8. Bangers and Mash

Oh god not this, anything but this. As a child, I remember the teachers used to show the other kids this, and I seemed to have been the only one who didn't like it. Based on a series of reading books, the show was about the lives of two chimpanzees named after a British dish (so it's another monkey show). While it's not an atrocity in and of its self, it suffers from being corny. Nothing about this show is in any way is appealing to adults, the stories isn't for adults, the designs isn't for adults even the theme song isn't for adults. I never liked Bangers and Mash then and looking back I understand why, and I bet the other kids in my school who liked it back then probably hate it now too.

7. Pet Alien

To all the previous shows credit at least they had good intentions, I don't know what the people behind Pet Alien had in mind but it resulted in a toon fart. For those who don't remember this show (and be grateful for that) Pet Alien was a mid-2000s CG cartoon that revolved around a group of aliens who accidentally crash land on an island; there they live with Tommy who has to put up with these creatures making his life hell. What works in Space Goofs, Jimmy Neutron and E.T is poorly executed here, the writing is obnoxious (see the pattern here) the animation is ugly and over the top and the characters are weird just weird. Looking back I can see why this was passed from channel to channel like a hot potato. Though at the time I did find where it was trying to be decent; but now I see that it has a lot of elements makes the overall show an embarrassing part of my childhood. Nothing about Pet Alien is out of this world in a good way, my only recommendation is if you want to lose some brain cells this will definitely do the trick.

6. Mighty Man and Yukk

Not many people are aware of Ruby Spear's Mighty Man and Yukk, which is for good reason. The problem with the animation company Ruby Spears is that their resume consists of uninspired Hanna Barbera knock offs, and this show solidifies that notion. The problem with this show is not just because it hasn't aged well but because the premise is weird as hell. Try saying this with a straight facial expression, tiny sidekick who teams up with the world's ugliest dog to fight crime; what drugs were these writers on when they came up with that!
It also doesn't help with the predictable writing, poor comedy relief, flat characters and to top it all off is the generic suito realistic character designs that animation studios were using at the time. However, all that does not compare to how downright stupid and drug-induced the show is. Mighty Man and Yukk may actually be the worst 70s cartoons I've seen so far, as I expected.

5. Clutch Cargo

There's a fine line when something creative is made with the little materials an artist has and something that's so cheap and awkward looking that it becomes unintentionally hilarious. Clutch Cargo is one of those things that closes that line to the point where you wouldn't believe this exists.

OH GOD NO! SWEET HEAVEN OH MIGHTY! NO! WHAT IS THIS! I DON'T KNOW, FOR THE LOVE OF HANNA BARBARA HOW COULD THIS EXIST! HAHAHAHA! SOB SOB SOB SOB!

That pretty much sums up how I feel about.......this. I think most people would recognize this from how it's been used in other artistic media (mainly Pulp Fiction). Unless you're blind, you may notice Clutch Cargo's animation is infamous for having the budget of a rock; i.e the lips are (I kid you not) live-action lips on a still image. I could understand if the studio who made Clutch Cargo had to cut their budget, but seriously by today's standards, the animation just looks jarring and awkward.

As for the stories and the characters, I just don't freaking care! I'm so put off by its unintentionally awkward animation I can't even see the charm in it anymore. I personally think this would be good source material for a parody or mash ups, here's a good example.

4. My Little Pony
Like many boys who grew up in the last century, I avoided My Little Pony like it was a necessity, and

I can see why. G1 My Little Pony is a pure example of a show created for marketing reasons, just everything about G1 embodies everything pandering and stereotypical about entertainment that was aimed for a female demographic. Not only are the visuals cheap, too sugary sweet and bright but the stories are lacklustre and generic despite the elements of fantasy, the characters lack so much personality that the only way you can tell the ponies apart is their colour. What makes it worse is how the next 2 generations are just as pandering if not worst. You can tell that the older My Little Pony variations were/are just for little girls and no one else.

The only good to come out of the success of this show is Friendship is Magic. I can ensure you that G4 is one of those rare occasions where a reboot surpasses its predecessor in every way shape and form. With how much better the animation and stories are and how the ponies here have actual personalities; I can see why Friendship is Magic has gained a following among adult men. So please avoid the previous generation of My Little Pony and just check out Friendship is Magic; so you can draw your own conclusion of the whole fad.

3. The Littlest Pet Shop (1995)

 Unlike My Little Pony where the crew didn't try and only wanted to please one demographic; I'm sure the people behind The Littlest Pet Shop tried with this one but it's execution resulted in this being one of the worst shows based on a toy line. After seeing this mess again, I can see why this crap faded into obscurity. Everything about this show feels heartless and unoriginal, the writing has no sense of comedic effort or logic that it comes off as a cheap Tiny Toon Adventures knock off. The characters are either rip-offs or obnoxious (with the exception of Chloe). Also, the animation is ugly, choppy and unlike the Badly Drawn Brothers from Avenger Penguins where they have the distinction of their design being intentional, this is a real step backwards compared to other animated shows that came before it. This doesn't deserve to be associated with the likes of Tiny Toons because it's simply a pandering cash grab only made to sell the toys they're based on. But what's really sad is that I kind of see where this could have been a hilarious series; if they had a cast who actually know how to do their flipping job it could have been something. But instead, we got an uncreative, unfunny toy advertisement that is best left forgotten. This was a giant waste of my time and brain cells and I hope not to see anything related to it again. 

 

HOLY CRAP!

2. Scooby Doo
Okay before you start writing angry hate mail, burn down my house, beat me to death, nail my corpse to a cross and feed me to vicious sharks. Just calm your knickers and listen! As much as I respect people's view on this cartoon and regard it as their one of their favourite cartoons of all time, I'm just gonna let it out..............here we go..............I Hate Scooby Doo. I consider it one of, if not the most overrated cartoon of all time! and here's why

Now don't get me wrong, as a child I used to watch Scooby Doo all the time and I liked it; but as I grew older I realised that was all mass hypnosis. When my taste in animation developed and matured I began to see Scooby Doo as one of Hanna Barbera's worst works, watching it again it has so many flaws that make it an embarrassing part of my childhood. The story is the same repetitive, formulaic hippie garbage that we've seen so many times, that someone who's been living under a rock knows about it. The writing is horribly executed with cheesy humour and grating dialogue, the characters have the personality of a wooden plank and the animation is cheap and unappealing. But what makes it worse, in this case, is how popular it has been for the past 4 decades and how greedy executives have been milking money out of these meddling kids with knock offs (like I mentioned before) and variations that are as bad if not worse than the original. I would forgive Scooby Doo if these variations weren't so corny and/or dreadful; one big example is the atrocious live-action movies!

For 4 decades, 4 decades Scooby Doo has written the book on how to be a cliche of its self for all these

reasons and more. But what makes this cartoon even more frustrating for me, is the fact that many Scooby Doo fans can't handle a negative opinion of this franchise (I'm talking to you whoever is ticked off here). Because they won't listen and let their love for the cartoon get in the way, I feel afraid to criticize it. Let's be mature here Scooby fans, everyone has a right to their opinion, it's fine if you don't like something a majority of people do like. Don't pretend that there aren't people who don't like Scooby Doo; my mother hates Scooby Doo so there's a chance I got it from her (with that I apologize for making her endure this when I was younger). If you can't accept one person's opinion, then why should I except yours.

And that it is why I genuinely hate Scooby Doo, it was good when I was growing up but now I don't think there's anything redeeming about it. I just think whatever those meddling kids and their dumb dog are trying to offer to animation has been better executed in other tv shows. If you like it that's fine, just don't act like I murdered your family cause I don't.

And the number 1 Worst Nostalgic Cartoon is.........................hold on give me a minute.....................................................................................................................

1. Bobinogs 

I not only consider this the worst Nostalgic Cartoon, I consider Bobinogs to be one of the worst animated shows I've ever seen. You think a show about an animated band wouldn't be that bad, hell you would think it be great. But what boils my blood about Bobinogs is that everything about it is executed in the worst most half-assed way possible, in my mind this is pretty much on par with the Garbage Pail Kids movie it's that bad. There are so many reasons why this piece of crap is forgotten and why I made fun of it so many times in the past. The writing is underwhelming in its execution, instead of standing out among other kid's shows it goes lowest common denominator by copying every cliche you see in every other kid show. It might as well been written by a 5-year-old, but even that's unfair because I bet a 5-year-old could write a better script. But the dash of salt to an open wound is how the main characters solve their conflict, by looking at children doing stuff through binoculars (that turns everything live-action). My issue with this gag is that it completely distracts from what little story it has. This sort of thing is handled much better in Beavis and Butthead because they knew how to balance a coherent narrative with music video commentaries; it works because you're interested to know what music video Beavis and Butthead are gonna comment on. With this, however, you're not interested in seeing what some kids are doing, nor are you invested with the character's commentary; what's the point in this gag existing? It's not clever and it's not consistent!

When the characters aren't bland, they're moronic, we get it the Bobinogs are brain dead, they can't do the simplest things we get it! I mean what's the point in having stupid characters if you're not gonna do anything comedic with them; are you saying that the Bobinogs can play instruments yet they don't know the basics of life (granted the Bobinogs can't make music to save their skins but still). Soccer moms complained about Derpy Hooves, but they got off scot-free what! The animation may not be hideous looking but it's still bland, it's so dated it looks like it was done on Go Animate. Now I'm aware that this is one of the first cartoons to be made in Flash, and I understand that no one really mastered the software at the time. But Mucha Lucha came around the same time and it's flash animation still holds up much better. Finally, the musical numbers are awful, they're so generic that they make Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black sound angelic by comparison. 

Now you're probably saying "Why are you watching something that's made for babies and little kids you dork?" the fact that this was made for our youth is sickening. If you want to create a show that can be remembered, you have to make it where it appeals to all ages otherwise you get crap like Bobinogs. As you may know, entertainment that's aimed for a younger audience has a hard time being taken seriously; what Bobinogs does is enforce that negative stereotype and gives people the impression that all kid's shows have to pander and be condescending to their audience like they're idiots. And as long as the targeted audience has no sense of quality, the makers can put no effort into their work; this is why animators like Danny Antonucci, Edd Gould and Pen Ward would've never done that. I don't know why I've bothered to rant on this garbage again, because it deserves to disappear into the dark pit of obscurity. And I'm grateful that it has and it should stay that way. I feel sorry for those who grew up watching this disgrace to animation, let's pray for their sake that they eventually grew out of it. Bottom line the Bobinogs can just Get Bent!

And that's my list of the Worst Cartoons of the past, as much as we criticize newer cartoons nowadays; never forget the past had bad cartoons too. And these shows are proof of that. So please tell me if you agree with my list, and tell me what nostalgic cartoon do you hate. Now if you excuse me I'm gonna erase all traces of the Bobinogs from the internet.