The Top 5 Most Irritating Little Kiddie Shows Ever Made

Hey Kids! do you like all those shows aimed at kids aged 0-6? Well do you wanna know my top 5 worst little kid shows which I've hate so much. Well lets go! YAAAY!! But first lets remind ourselves of what little kiddie's shows are, Okay! of we gooooooooooooooo!

Sorry guys, felt like I nearly lost my intelligence there, anyway lets just cut to the chase. There are many genres for tv shows out there but the one we're gonna cover today is the little kiddie's genre, we all have a show we've watched in our childhood and the kiddie genre was the perfect way to introduce us to television itself.

We've all watched a kiddie show during our past time as littlins did we (me especially) they educated us, they amused us and they talked us the great values of life (despite how cruel it can be in reality) in any generation you were born in. Now as the millenium changed, the kiddie show genre has become watered down exposing new generations of toddlers to programmes that lacked character, creativity and any important morals or values and are just made to make fun of your kid's intelligence than just expand it. Shows that are so toned down that they wouldn't even mention "butt checks". now I don't watch little kiddie shows as much as I used to but when I'm flicking through the channels and when i come across a kiddie show or even see one second of one I think "my God!" I mean what happened to the genre, it was so entertaining back than now they just make you make you want to hit the tv screen and complain all day!

Now join me boys and girls as we count down the top 5 most horrifying, idiotic little kiddie shows that you should keep your kids or younger siblings from watching. So ado you want to count with meeee! YAYYY!! Okay leeettts gooooo! YAY!

5. Dora the Explorer

My god do we love to hate this little brat do we, it's about this spanish 5 year old who hangs out with a talking monkey and a talking bag pack, the weirdness doesn't start here people; and she goes out on these adventures without any adult supervision whats so ever, proving to little kids that even they can go out on big responsible adventures, good message there.
Now apart from being too colourful and  annoying everything is all wrong like the music numbers, the forth wall breakers, the characters, Everything! ITS ALL TOO MUCH!! and on top of that it has probably the most annoying villian of all time; Swiper, dun dun duhh! All he is just a fox that tries to ruin Dora's mission by trying to snatch the thing she's looking for, and all it takes to stop him is to shout "Swiper No Swipping" and he just goes away, wow what a way to teach kids how to keep themselves from being nit picked hohoho, STUPID! and also Swiper is the worst villian ever! dont you agree I thought so.

4. Little Einsteins 

Personally I never watched a full episode of this show but from I can tell from the previews and the first and I mean the first 5 seconds of this show it sucks. the animation is too colourful the characters are as wooden as puppets and the songs are boring. And the way this show exploits different cultures and subjects is just as badly as Victorious does (wow if a show is as bad as Victorious than thats a new time low) Anyway Little Einsteins is just another crappy little kiddie's cartoon by disney that you should avoid at all costs.


3. Bobinogs
Oh my god I freaking hate this show!!! For those of you who haven't heard of this show (be thankfull you haven't) or have forgotten about it I'll tell you.

Bobinogs was a cartoon show about three friends named Ogi, Bobin and Nib who formed a band that consists of drums, keyboard and vocal, think of them as the band Keane but dumbed down of course. Now you may think it sounds promising, a little kid's show about a pop group that teaches it's viewers important life lessons as well as music, but trust me it's not good at all.
All this show offers is bland stories with dumbass characters that are as flat as their design, lessons that are taken from other shows like (i.e looking both ways before crossing the road and why sleep is important) HOW STUPID ARE THESE PEOPLE!! and songs that are so annoying, they make songs by Rebecca Black and other mainstream singers today sound amazing.

But wait it's worse than you can think, theres an utterly pointless running gag in this show where the talentless three look through a pair of talking binoculars called the "Bobinoculars" in which they look at toddlers doing stuff that they should have probably have known how to do by now. Did I forget to mention when you look through the "bobinoculars" everything turns live action, What is this? Ralph Bakshi meets the Teletubbies how low can you get!! Also the Bobinoculars serves no purpose to the show except to be totally annoying and to rip off other kiddies shows and it's character trait is the same equivalent to HAL 9000's bland cousin I mean they never explain it's origin, the other characters don't acknowledge it afterwards it's only used for showing it's viewers what other kids do in their like a freaking reality show, all I can say is..........

So overall the Bobinogs is a lame show filled with characters with no brains or personalities, flat animation, pointless filler and god awful songs and is about as insulting to indie rock than it is to the viewer's intelligence. I'm just thankful this piece of crap faced the music and ended before anyone of todays kids got to know it because is there any wonder no one remembers it for it was as much as fun as static radio.




 2. Tweenies 

Yeah now we're getting somewhere, I know I've dissed Bobinogs to the max but this show is the crap stopper of the count down.

Now like every other kid growing up in the 90s and 2000s I saw this show and didn't think it was really that bad until i got older. Well why cant I be annoyed by these 4, their voices are as irritating as well as their personalities and they look like rejected character designs from the Cramp Twins (did I forget to mention that Milo's design is a rip off Wayne Cramp)
It's the type of show that makes you feel dirty after watching it as well as a complete acid trip. I like to think grown ups were glad when this show ended so their kids could finally shut up i disliked this show and i'm sure you've grown to dislike it too.

And finally the number 1 worst little kiddie show is.............................................

                                                            1. Jungle Junction

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean this show is just pure genocide, even when you look at it you cant help but to throw up. It's about a race of genetically re-engenerred animals made to look like motor vehicles that live in a literal concrete jungle as their habitat, God the premise alone sounds drugged up. From what I heard at TV.com it basically teaches kids about  environmental issues now that wouldn't be a problem for me if the animals weren't freaking cars. The animation is just sickly awful, the message is mixed overall it's just a cheap looking cartoon made by stoners.
To all the people out there who are reading this, if you want to be good parents may I advise yourselves  to keep your kids away from this artificially plastic pile of animal feces as possible or they might end up like this.

So overall we live in a generation where children are exposed to such bland and forgettable shows that have terrible songs and characters that are insulting to the viewer's intelligence. I'm not saying these character's are bad role models to children but their personalities are so bland and the direction of these shows are so poorly done compared to other kid's shows from the past. Also shows like "Jungle Junction" make the current stuff from Dreamworks Animation and Blue Sky look like masterpieces.

 I may not know much about kiddie shows because I don't watch them but you can tell from the way I dissed these awful show why I don't watch them. There're the type of shows that will give kiddies the wrong impression of television and life. If yo're a grown person who actually enjoys these shows than you seriously need to get your brain checked.

So remember boys and girls, stay far away from these show as possible and never ever expose your children to this kind of rubbish. We had a lot of fun counting down the worst kids shows ever did we kids, but it's time to say bye bye 

Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye

Lucy's Perfect Afternoon

Heres a blast from the past, I did this watercolour in 2006, I must say it was a masterpiece at the time and it shows how my drawing style started to evolve. The inspiration came from a jug my mother owned so of course I looked at it, drew and painted from it and ever since than it's been regared as the best watercolour I did as a child. Its also featured on my Deviant art page as well.

The F Tales

Honestly this is actually a well put together cartoon that embodies childrens folk stories with the X Files. Done by Rob Renzetti, creator of My Life as a Teenage Robot its one of those things that i wished I saw years ago its that great a short.

Whatever Happened to Brian Wood

Animators they have really seem to have become a part of the art community, they really have the integrity to bring their artwork to life. Animation has touch the hearts of children and adults alike and we owe it to these masters to have made us laugh and cry with these revolutionary flicks. Out of all the animators in the world there is one who has been on my mind for so long; that persons name is Brian Wood.

 

For those who are unfamilar with this fellow Brian Wood was known for his creation The Cramp Twins. It was a well done cartoon based on a graphic novel it had original character designs, interesting stories, great characters and it's catchy theme song. Telling the story of 10 year old twins Wayne and Lucien Cramp who make it through the modern world with their constant sibling rivalry it has proved it's self to a hit among young children and teens and I also like to consider it as one of my all time favourite program. (As you can see I've added it to my top 10 animated shows list)

 

One thing that has bothered me since the show's cancellation is what the dickens has happened to him over the years, I mean I have searched his name over the web and have found barly anything to do with him. There is no profile of him on Wikipedia and I've seen no website of his not even a blog. The only images I've found of his work (that are not Cramp Twins related) were these (below)

http://www.whateverittakes.org/celebrity.aspx?celeb_id=02

 http://www.britishanimationawards.com/awards_history/2004/awards_wood.htm

                                                                                                                                                                           Things like this makes me wonder why Brian Wood never went on to make another great cartoon like cramp twins or even another childrens book. Also how come no one has written about him on Wikipedia didn't he have any friends or colleagues that could have written a profile for him.
 Where the hell has he been all these year!

If I knew better I say that the people at 4Kids abducted him and left him on an desserted island at the edge of the earth to die. Or maybe they threw him into a space shuttle and blasted him into space where he got sucked into a black hole. Well even so it's a shame that people will never see another new product by Wood, it's also a shame that I've never have been able to find Wood's website infact I don't understand why he hasn't made a website, and even if he did how come we have not been able to find it .

But despite this I have been so lucky enough to find two animated short films made by Wood himself "Mr Jessop" and "School Disco"

Mr Jessop

Made during Wood's college days, Mr Jessop is a simplictic tale about a man who goes to the train station with dark, graphic occurances that make this a unique combination of surreal twisted doodles with the mature conflict that occures in real life. It's the same equavilant of a childhood crayon drawings on acid.

School Disco

Wood's next animated short was School Disco, which illustrates different points of views of high school students. This short is definately one of Wood's more mature pieces, it shows his ability to adapt slice of life events to animation. It even feels rememisent of those nights of attending such school discos as well the club scene of the 90s. This was probably the influence behind the Cramp Twins episode "Dance Pants"; infact you'll find alot of resemblance to that show in the character design. 

Overall as well as creating the cult classic The Cramp Twins, Brian Wood has made some strange mature expressionist toons in his lifetime.Although it really sucks when theres not much about him on the web and that he just disapered from the world of animation. I don't understand why someone who could have made a great cartoon like The Cramp Twins fade into such bitter obscurity for so long that it feels like he left the face of the earth. His work is alot better than anything that Dreamworks Animation have made in the past 7 years and way way way way way better than anthing and mean anything that the producers of that Problem Solverz show could make (BTW that show is gonna suck) But I digress it was great to find his early shorts, as a fan of the Cramp Twins i really think it would do justice to see this man return to animation.

If you know what happened to Brian Wood for the past 6 six years, where he is and why he never made another product ever again or if you know the proper web address of where you can see his work for real than tell me at the comment box below. I would really appreciate it.

......................and Brian Wood where ever you are we just want you to know; we really miss you u_u